I Can See Clearly Now

This is a story of hope even though it is about losing three special ladies within a short space of time due to cancer. Some years later, we lost my aunt to cancer. Many times I will write when I am doing a lot of thinking and need to express how I feel (now you know why I have a blog!). As I was cleaning up my computer files, I came across a document dated August 2008. Below is what I wrote during the time my aunt was battling cancer. This is dedicated to Aunt Sylvia, Holly, Michone, and Teri with much love:

My mom called this morning. My aunt just went into surgery today to remove a cancerous tumor in her colon. But they couldn’t remove it (don’t have details yet), so her only other option is chemo. Without chemo she has about a year, and maybe longer with chemo. My aunt has lost a lot of weight and is very weak. She was drinking Reliv (nutritious drink), but now can’t keep that down. Mom is really having a hard time with this. If they come to mind, please pray for them and the rest of our family. My aunt’s daughter (my cousin) died a few years ago with cancer, so this is very hard, especially for my aunt’s children.

A thought had come to me a few days ago. When we pray for God to heal someone, we know that He can do it. But as we know, it doesn’t always happen, or at least not the way we think it should. For example, at the same time my cousin was diagnosed with cancer, two very close friends were also diagnosed. And don’t you know how hard we prayed for all three to be healed?! Two of them were my age and the other a bit younger. They all had children. I never lost faith of His healing power, but when they eventually died, I did a lot of wondering out loud to God.

Then I remembered a prayer I had prayed several years back for my close friend. I said, “God, whatever it takes, I pray that Teri will come to know you as her Lord and Savior.” WHATEVER IT TAKES….those were my exact words that were coming back to me. And when she was battling for her life, she did cry out to Him. And she had quite a hard life filled with poor choices before she allowed Jesus into her heart. But the transformation in her life was undeniable.

Then I was reminded of the prayer for my cousin. “Lord, please bring a very special man into Michone’s life who will love her unconditionally.” She was always “looking for love in all the wrong places”. And of course, I also prayed for her salvation. A VERY SPECIAL MAN…hmmmmm. When I heard her take her last breath in the hospital that early morning, I ran to get the nurse. It was amazing to me that I heard it while I was half asleep. It was as if her breath was magnified in the silent room.  They worked to revive her to no avail. As I stood back, I felt such a deep fear. I said, “Lord, please don’t let her go unless you are taking her home.” You see, I had planned on talking to her in the morning about Jesus. Her only clear moments were in the mornings. Did I miss His timing? I couldn’t bear that thought. I felt sick. Later that day, I had an opportunity to talk to the pastor, who happened to be her neighbor. He said that before she went into the hospital, she had asked him questions about the Lord. This was the first time she wanted to know anything more about Him. He said they had had a very good talk.

Then there was Holly. You would have loved Holly. She was full of love and life. I always admired her tenacity as she faithfully stood by her alcoholic, drug-addicted husband. She kept hoping that he would relinquish his life to the Lord. Now, don’t get me wrong. At times she felt hurt and anger as she watched the father of her four children destroy his life. But she always loved and always hoped. I thought for sure that this woman of God, who had given so much, would be healed. “Jesus, how could these children be without a mother? What would happen to her husband? For their sake, please heal Holly.” FOR THEIR SAKE…..hmmmmmm. It seemed like Holly hung on, almost as if desperately waiting for something to happen. Her bed had been moved to the living room of the house as her husband stayed by her side consistently. However, this particular time he was gone. On his way home, he decided to go to an AA meeting. Please forgive my vague details from a unclear memory, but basically he stood up in the meeting to speak. He gave God glory and said that if it wasn’t for Holly, he wouldn’t be there. While he was at the meeting, Holly passed away.

Three stories; one question. Why? The words, “WHATEVER IT TAKES”, “A VERY SPECIAL MAN”, and “FOR THEIR SAKE” jumped out to me. OH, the power of prayer! The Lord DID answer my prayers. I believe Teri would not have given her life to the Lord without enduring her battle. Cancer is what it took for her to realize her frailty without Christ. She always knew she would be healed. In her last days she experienced such a peace that passes all understanding. Michone’s very special man who loves her unconditionally is Jesus! I believe she is experiencing His love, joy, and peace now! And for the sake of Holly’s family, she was taken home. I believe her husband and children were given an opportunity to see Holly’s relationship with the Lord that never wavered while cancer raged in her body. Her husband, who is now the strength for the children, is a changed man.

I don’t understand it all. Maybe one day He will tell me. Until then, I know that His ways are definitely not our ways, but always supreme. We just can’t see the bigger picture. Life goes beyond death. All three ladies WERE healed. They no longer suffer in emotional or physical pain. They are free. It’s just not the way I thought it was going to happen.

I do miss them dearly, and I know their families do, too. When we were kids, Michone had the wonderful idea of starting a singing group with all of us girl cousins. We were going to be “The Cousettes”! Don’t you just love it?! We were even going to wear matching white pant suits, which I think was my idea! And our first song? “I Can See Clearly Now” by Johnny Nash. Now you can, Michone, and one day I will, too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkwJ-g0iJ6w

“I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

Look all around, there’s nothing but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothing but blue skies

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.”

~Kim

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2 thoughts on “I Can See Clearly Now

  1. niasunset says:

    I am so sorry to hear this. Rest in peace for them! I read your poem too, well written and so toucheing, I can almost feel in my heart.
    By the way thank you for visiting my crazy blog, I am so glad to meet with you, and now I am your new subscriber! Blessing and Happiness, with my love, nia

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